Zi: februarie 4, 2014

Days at sea are what must be spent, savoured and never saved.

To know something of the worlds vastness we might ponder it’s depth

in doing so hopefully we reveal something of our own.

 

My ocean is a woman as soft and beckoning as she is unforgiving and impenetrable

She is a love affair with all of life

a tomb for all that dies in me.

A time capsule.

My Ocean is a deep and bottomless as I can allow myself to imagine.

Her limits are only mine, and with her as my inspiration there is no end to even the end.

I ask her for answers but realise she has told me the questions already.

She hands me the sunrise as I wake.

At nights fall she hides the sun in the hope I might sleep.

Shine she says, glisten and glimmer and foster a million ideas in every ray you reflect.

Turn inwards and outwards and feel only the shame of the shame you allowed in the first place!

There are no limits to your depth

you are an ocean

no conditions to your shallows

or the movements of your tides

 

rip and rant and rumble like thunder,

tear stone from stone in angers hold

then lap calmly at your own shores as you fall to sleep

to dream the next dream of being awake.

Be a thousand faces to a million people but never forget who you are.

You are an ocean

the beginning

the end

all of the above and as much and as large as you care to dream.

You are the ocean.

 

life is better lived wet.

 

We all have reasons for moving.
I move to keep things whole. By Mark Strand

Mereu am stat prost cu timpul, dar de cand am decis ca ma dedic exact 18 luni acestui job, chiar nu mai am timp de nimic.

Cariera, ca si iubirea, iti fura pervers din timp.

Intre zboruri si deadline-uri am reusit sa imi petrec un weekend cu doamna ambasadorului pe o insula de poveste. Inca nu stiu ce vrea de la mine. Inca nu stiu ce vreau de la dansa.

Doamna nu e ca Anna. Si relatia noastra nu e nici de prietenie, nici sexuala, nici alba, nici neagra. Ma fascineaza rasul ei cand vrea sa imi ascunda ceea ce imi spune, rochiile ei turcoaz, legate stramt pe o talie frumoasa in snururi aurii, ochii migdalati si gesturile de contesa. O femeie aristocrata, nascuta si crescuta in pufuri financiare, educata, eleganta, inalta, cu ochii albastri ca platina, captivanta si de inteligenta superioara.

Am petrecut zilele pe plaja, privind oceanul si apusurile magnifice, cu cocktailuri colorate, in discutii filozofice despre intuneric si lumina, iar noptile am dansat nebune pe ritmuri straine.

M-am intors frematand de viata si cu o dorinta vie de a incerca tot ce e posibil in viata asta. Exista un barbat nou in viata mea, despre care voi scrie mai tarziu, promisiuni colorate facute sufletului meu si o gramada de vise de-abia iesite din cutie.

Mi-am legat incheietura mainii intr-o bratara aurie, delicata, in forma de sarpe, de la Tiffany, ca sa imi amintesc mereu de cele mai frumoase zile din viata mea, de setea nebuna de a-mi inventa singura stilul de viata, credintele, pacatele.

Sunt fericita. Sunt foarte fericita.